Lucky Lou’s Turkey Day Locks: Why I’m Fading the Cowboys & The Home Team in "The Game"
Look, let’s not talk about last week. The betting gods didn’t just humble me; they stole my wallet, keyed my car, and left me stranded on the strip with nothing but a maxed-out credit card and a dream.
But in Vegas, we don’t cry about bad beats. We double down.
It is Thanksgiving Week, the only time of year when gluttony is a virtue and sweating a three-team parlay while ignoring your relatives is considered "quality family time." I’ve scanned the board, crunched the numbers, and ignored my therapist's advice to "take a week off." Here is the official Vegas411 Turkey Coma Card.
Thanksgiving Day: Packers at Lions (-3)
12:30 PM ET, FOX
Detroit on Thanksgiving used to be a tragedy you watched just to feel better about your own life. Now? It’s a tradition of excellence. The Lions (7-4) are welcoming a Packers team (7-3-1) that just can't seem to decide if they are contenders or pretenders.
Ford Field is going to be louder than a jet engine, and Green Bay’s secondary has more holes than my plan to win the Powerball. I’m riding the home team. The Pick: DETROIT LIONS (-3)
Thanksgiving Afternoon: Chiefs at Cowboys (+3.5)
4:30 PM ET, CBS
Ah, the "America's Team" special. We’ve got Mahomes versus Dak in Jerry World. The Cowboys (5-5-1) are fighting for their playoff lives, while the Chiefs (6-5) are just trying to wake up before January.
I love the Cowboys... specifically when they break everyone’s heart on national TV. You think Dallas can keep up with KC on a holiday? Jerry Jones lives for this spotlight, but unfortunately, his defense is still sleeping off the flight. Patrick Mahomes owns this league until proven otherwise. The Pick: KANSAS CITY CHIEFS to Cover
Black Friday: Bears at Eagles (-6.5)
3:00 PM ET, Prime Video
The NFL Gods gave us a gift for Black Friday. You’re hungover, you’re eating cold stuffing, and you get to watch the defending Super Bowl Champion Eagles bully a rookie quarterback.
Caleb Williams has had a nice little season for Chicago, but walking into Lincoln Financial Field on a short week? Against that Philly pass rush? It’s not going to be a football game; it’s going to be a crime scene. The Pick: PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (-6.5)
Saturday: #1 Ohio State at #15 Michigan (+4.5)
12:00 PM ET, FOX
"The Game." The Buckeyes are 11-0 and rolling into Ann Arbor looking for blood. Michigan (9-2) has a tough defense, sure, but have you seen their quarterback play lately? It is shakier than a rookie at the high-limit roulette wheel.
Ohio State isn't just trying to win; they are trying to embarrass them. I’m fading the home team. The Pick: OHIO STATE BUCKEYES (-4.5)
The Iron Bowl: Alabama at Auburn (+10.5)
3:30 PM ET, CBS
Throw the records out. Burn the stat sheets. Bury logic in the backyard. It is the Iron Bowl at Jordan-Hare Stadium.
We all know Alabama is the better football team. But strange, voodoo-like things happen when Bama goes to Auburn. Kick Sixes, miracle tips, referees forgetting how to count... it’s chaos. Auburn keeps this stupidly close because the SEC scriptwriters love drama. The Pick: AUBURN TIGERS (+10.5)
Summary of Lou’s Locks:
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LIONS (-3)
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CHIEFS (-3.5)
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EAGLES (-6.5)
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BUCKEYES (-4.5)
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AUBURN (+10.5)
Go make some money so you can afford Christmas gifts people actually want. May your parlay dreams be slightly less crushed than mine.
DISCLAIMER: This article is for entertainment purposes only. Lucky Lou is a fictional character for Vegas411. Please bet responsibly. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.